Top 10 Football Foods (According to Me)

10. Chips
I actually don’t like chips that much – but people frown on dunking one’s fingers straight into bowls of guac or blue cheese. If I have to eat straight chips, they must be Cool Ranch Doritos. No exceptions.

9. Skittles
Marshawn says to eat them, so I do. He call them power pellets. There’s even a study that explains their effect on anxiety.

Hmm … Maybe I’ll double down this week.

8. Hummus
Okay, maybe veggies dipped in ground chick peas and garlic sounds a bit bourgeois for football. But it’s good, okay?

7. Sandwiches
For us, games are usually after church. We’re rushing home, and by the time I get into the house, I don’t want to be spending any time in the kitchen. Sometimes it’s nice to have a big ol’ sandwich from our local, all ready to go. We like MSM deli, here in Tacoma: real bread, massive quantities of meat and cheese, drippy condiments.

But, y’know, Jimmy John’s will do in a pinch.

6. Wings
Buffalo-style are typical wings at football tailgates. But BBQ saucy-spicy wings are my style of choice. I don’t care that I need 57 napkins to eat ’em. Worth it.

5. Chili
Three of my football advisors care deeply about chili. One, who insists he isn’t superstitious, makes a crock pot full every single game. When the Hawks last lost, it might’ve been the chili. When I asked Coach Mike about his favorite football foods, he said,

holding a hot vessel of hearty goodness chases the gray away on game day.

He loves his chili, y’all.
Johnny does, too. But I always regret making it for him. Always.

4. Guacamole
If I don’t make guac, it’s always an issue in our house. Its avocado-y, lime-y, salt-y goodness is tasty on the aforementioned chili, or as a dip, or on sandwiches, or licked off of my fingers if no one is looking.

3. Sausages
This is another one Coach Mike mentioned, and I totally concur. Brats, Polish dogs, Chorizo, Linguiza … *drool*
Necessities: some kind of pickle or fermented cabbage (kraut, kimchee, whatevs), spicy mustard, good bread, real tomatoes, onions. No ketchup. I did grow up in Chicago, after all.

2. Pizza
And speaking of Chicago …
One of my favorite family traditions is when the Seahawks v. Bears game rolls around. On that day, we get deep-dish pizzas shipped in from Lou Malnati’s in Chicago. I weep when the box arrives, and then, when that sausage pizza comes out of the oven, with its single patty lining the entire pie … I try not to have a seizure on the kitchen floor.

Please do not think Pizza Hut is good enough. It’s not.

I know I live in Tacoma and I’m only supposed to like beers made by, like, dudes with handle bar mustaches who ride antique bikes and make their labels on typewriters … but I don’t.

Here’s what I drink during football:

Corona. Bottled. With lime.

Guinness. By the pint, if I can get it.

Blue Moon. You’re supposed to drink it with an orange, but I don’t like anything sweet in my drinks. I prefer a dill pickle. Try it!

Bud Light. The NFL sponsor had to get to me at some point! I like it best the way my homie taught me to drink it: with tomato juice, Tabasco, salt, and lots of black pepper. It’s pretty much a ghetto Bloody Mary.

This is how we do!

What do you like to eat while you cheer on your team? Lemme know in comments! Hugs and burps!


2 responses to “Top 10 Football Foods (According to Me)

  1. Lil’ Smokies. BEEF ONLY. I don’t like chicken lips and piglet tails in my sausages. I also hear them up in a skillet with 1/2 cup brown sugar. The sugar breaks down into a sausagey-caramelly coating that is mother-stinking DELISH! Dipping sauces include, but are not limited to: regular mustard, Chinese hot mustard, straight-up hot-hot-hot horseradish, Dijon mustard…y’know…tangy spicy stuffs to go with the beefy sweet stuffs.

    Another? Apples and caramel dippin sauce. Ritz and cheese and cured meat/ beef log.

    Homemade guacamole(obvi) and homemade salsa and nachos.

    Cream cheese mixed with either homemade chili OR a can of your fave brand of chili and tortilla chips (Santita’s are $2/bag, yo.)

    That’s about it, I think.

  2. I’m not going to lie, starting out with Skittles and sandwiches really had me doubting you. But you redeemed yourself with chili and sausage.
    I’ll let the beer choices go because you just have to drink what you want to drink.
    As far as food goes I think you can’t go wrong with something meaty in a crockpot. All our games are in the evening here, so we get the crockpot cranking as soon as we get home from church.
    I strongly feel that either cream cheese or crescent rolls (the grody kind from the can) need to be included as well. Especially if you are watching a team from the Midwest.
    Nothing with lettuce. Lettuce has no place in football.

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